The Bloggy Blogface!

Eyeballs are very dumb. Mostly in how we have to take care of them. Such a drag. Most of us have two of them, and that's pretty awesome. Some of us only have one, and that's still okay. Maybe more honorable, depending on how you only have just the one. Some of us have none, and that's both unfortunate and perhaps honorable, again depending on the back story. Above all, eyeballs are just stupid. Yeah, I'm talking to you, eyeballs. You and your gross composition of fluids and membranes and rods and cones and photoreceptor cells. I hate touching you. In fact, I can't even touch you. It freaks me the hell out, much like touching soft foam does. Nobody touches you. Not even the eye doctor lady trying to put contacts in for the very first time. That experience lasted roughly forty seconds until I was slumped on the floor outside of the bathroom, my brain and stomach nauseous from the mere idea of someone touching my eyeball. You literally make me sick just thinking a...

 In case you haven't noticed or anything, it's winter. How do I know? Because everyone is complaining about it. Some places are recording record lows all across this land. Here in western North Carolina for example, we had recent overnight wind chills of maybe twenty below zero. It's pretty brutal, and like most stories, aren't legit enough unless they include some ration of death. How many deaths have there been? Depends on where you read, really. Six? Seven? Two-hundred? Which one draws the most shock, and more importantly, more ratings? Throw around some cliches like "...cold enough to take your breath away" , or "life-threatening wind chill" , and what we have is another painstakingly desperate state of panic.  The most enjoyable part of this cold chill - I'm sorry, I guess the trendy correct  reactionary ratings term for this is Polar Vortex - is not so much mainstream media's orgasmic reaction to it, but by overly-cliche re...