Hi,
I'll cut right to the chase. These things are the WORST -
I'll cut right to the chase. These things are the WORST -
UGH.
No, I'm not talking about that slinky denim skirt (which isn't bad), nor those boots (which are, maybe). I'm referring to those goddamn machines she and those other folks are using to purchase things. Who made them, and more importantly, who thought they would actually help with anything?
Where to start with these bullshit machines? Let's start small. Let's talk about the good ones. The good machines that don't have hordes of people lined up to use them. Small stores, like CVS. Those are nice. Simple. Efficient. Red. Sometimes, there's merely one person ahead of me there. Most of the time, THERE ARE NONE. This is important. Also, those ahead of me don't have 4,553 items in their little red basket. Quick check-outs. So, these machines are decent. Kind of. Even in New York City, there's room for one on your own. A brief wait, at best. Additionally, these places often employ someone nearby to suggest you use them. That's awfully nice.
Unfortunately, 99.99998% of self-checkouts do not operate this way at all. A local grocery chain uses them exclusively after some bullshit "late" hour, such as after 9PM. If you need things this time of night, you get to wait your sorry ass in line for these self-checkouts, as they sent every single one of their cashiers home. Oh, but you have twenty other lanes we can check out from? Nope, not at this God-forsaken hour.
Self-checkout is really nothing more than a fancy phrase for reducing payroll. Why pay for the personnel when you don't have to? The problem with this logic is that just how much self is going on here? They still have to employ at least one person. This person's sole responsibility is to verify ages when purchasing booze and punching in proper codes for unmarked produce. Great for him or her, but boo for us. Thought this was a self-checkout? We're doing it by ourselves - yet still having to interact with another human supervising the machines. That seems silly.
Concerning the machines themselves, they are the absolute worst. First of all, they're way too sensitive. Once you place your products on the platform before scanning, you can't remove them. Once you place the product in the bag, you can't remove it. If your product is super lightweight, like say a greeting card, the machine has no idea if you put it in the bag or not, because it doesn't register a weight sensation on the bag table. Either of these circumstances, if left untreated for roughly 1.2 seconds, triggers the machine to shut down and call for assistance. Anything you do out of the ordinary gets the machine to make you wait for assistance. Again, I THOUGHT THIS WAS A SELF-CHECKOUT?
As per the bags, don't even fucking touch them after you place the items inside. In fact, don't even look at them. This will trigger yet another shut down prompt. Sometimes the supervisor person will even scold you for moving the bags mid transaction. That's always fun.
Once you have scanned all your items and have managed to pay, a 40-foot long receipt prints out approximately seven yards away from where you scanned your groceries. You had better, for the love of all that is Holy, immediately tear this receipt from the machine, as well as take your bags off the table. Again, it's very important you do not even touch the bags until the computer voice tells you to. If not, she will scold you, as will probably the supervisor. You JERK.
Speaking of the computer voice, she is a raging bitch. Too much talking. Too much bossing me around. Piss off, this is my transaction and i'll scan...STOP. DON'T PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. GOD DAMNIT.
Self-checkout machines are the grocery equivalent of traffic roundabouts. And there's not enough vodka in my grocery budget to handle either.
Unfortunately, 99.99998% of self-checkouts do not operate this way at all. A local grocery chain uses them exclusively after some bullshit "late" hour, such as after 9PM. If you need things this time of night, you get to wait your sorry ass in line for these self-checkouts, as they sent every single one of their cashiers home. Oh, but you have twenty other lanes we can check out from? Nope, not at this God-forsaken hour.
Self-checkout is really nothing more than a fancy phrase for reducing payroll. Why pay for the personnel when you don't have to? The problem with this logic is that just how much self is going on here? They still have to employ at least one person. This person's sole responsibility is to verify ages when purchasing booze and punching in proper codes for unmarked produce. Great for him or her, but boo for us. Thought this was a self-checkout? We're doing it by ourselves - yet still having to interact with another human supervising the machines. That seems silly.
Concerning the machines themselves, they are the absolute worst. First of all, they're way too sensitive. Once you place your products on the platform before scanning, you can't remove them. Once you place the product in the bag, you can't remove it. If your product is super lightweight, like say a greeting card, the machine has no idea if you put it in the bag or not, because it doesn't register a weight sensation on the bag table. Either of these circumstances, if left untreated for roughly 1.2 seconds, triggers the machine to shut down and call for assistance. Anything you do out of the ordinary gets the machine to make you wait for assistance. Again, I THOUGHT THIS WAS A SELF-CHECKOUT?
As per the bags, don't even fucking touch them after you place the items inside. In fact, don't even look at them. This will trigger yet another shut down prompt. Sometimes the supervisor person will even scold you for moving the bags mid transaction. That's always fun.
Once you have scanned all your items and have managed to pay, a 40-foot long receipt prints out approximately seven yards away from where you scanned your groceries. You had better, for the love of all that is Holy, immediately tear this receipt from the machine, as well as take your bags off the table. Again, it's very important you do not even touch the bags until the computer voice tells you to. If not, she will scold you, as will probably the supervisor. You JERK.
Speaking of the computer voice, she is a raging bitch. Too much talking. Too much bossing me around. Piss off, this is my transaction and i'll scan...STOP. DON'T PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. GOD DAMNIT.
Self-checkout machines are the grocery equivalent of traffic roundabouts. And there's not enough vodka in my grocery budget to handle either.