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Bloggy Blog #44

   The other night, I had big dreams I was going to take better control of my awful eating habits.This always begins with emails from my parents. What's interesting is that during their emails, they never mention food. It's a topic that simply never comes up. But, I know what's in their kitchen. I know it's full of packaged nonsense with preservatives and sodium and every possible loaf of bread imaginable, all of it mostly jammed into the refrigerator. My parent's fridge is one of great legend. Friends and lovers are always told amazing tales of the fridge's far-reaching depths of foodstuffs packed to the brim. Unfortunately, it is packed to the brim with utter nonsense. Foods they don't need and loads of dairy products that make my intestines rumble just thinking about it. The fruitless endeavor of trying to get them to change their diets goes in one ear and right out the other. And while I'm not about that packed fridge life, its existence alone reaffirms the foolish habits I need to break.

I like to think my insides aren't in terrible shape. I take in vegetables on occasion. Peanut butter. Opt for the wheat bread. A decent amount of water as well. But I often feel like a sloth. This could be for a variety of reasons. Delicious turkey sausage breakfast patties, egg whites, and cheese sandwich just about every morning. One patty, maybe two if I'm feeling bold. Midday, a stupid bag of chips. Jalapeno maybe. Doritos? They're all the same. I don't usually have an actual lunch, so that's a plus right? Totally just eliminating a meal should count as something.

I've managed to narrow down my problem to evening meals and beverages. I can never decide if I want to try and make something healthy, or just order something hastily made and deeply regret it afterward. Lately I have found myself not too hungry at night, but more around five in the afternoon. That time frame comes brazenly close to when my parents eat dinner. So to make myself feel better, I am now calling my late-afternoon meal my lunch. It's for the best. Especially considering I stay up late as it is, I need some sort of buffer.

However, this still does not solve my late-night conundrum. What will I shove into my face? I'm already piling on the calories I'm sure with all the beers and vodka tonics available, but I need something better than that. Something to absorb all those liquids for safety. My plan for the other night was a simple one - I would stir-fry some vegetables and toss on a few whole wheat noodles for texture or some dumb crap like that. Zap on a little peanut sauce and voila. It was all right there, all bought and stored right on the cutting board until that grand moment of food preparation captured my slightly buzzed mind. What would it take - twenty, thirty minutes tops? I'll have to boil noodles. Goddamnit where's the damn pot? I'll also need a strainer too I guess. Shit, that needs to be washed. Well look, the pan is all clean, I can just toss the vegetables into it and give it a whirl. Wait, who used all the stir-fry sauce? What the hell. No peanut sauce now? It's cold outside, I don't want to put real pants on.

In the end, there was much success as I finally got to eat. And there was just enough pizza for hungover breakfast the next morning.

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