10 better things the puppy justice warrior could have done instead of sticking a note under the car wipers
1. They could have peeked their nosy asses into the car a little bit more and see the puppy dressed in a warm sweater while wrapped up in a North Face sleeping bag.
1. They could have peeked their nosy asses into the car a little bit more and see the puppy dressed in a warm sweater while wrapped up in a North Face sleeping bag.
2. They could have seen myself or a friend head out
to the car every fifteen minutes to check on him and run the engine some.
3. They could have actually grown a pair and instead
seek us out inside to invoke their passive-aggressive wrath.
4. Had they actually grown a pair and encountered
us inside, they would see we were merely waiting for our to-go food order. Those
do take a little bit of time to prepare, especially when the place is
particularly busy.
5. In the time they searched their car or purse for
an empty envelope and pen to jot down their perceived puppy mistreatment rage,
they could have once again just searched for us inside to inquire. But I
understand it’s better to puff one’s chest out with a false sense of
accomplishment over circumstances in which they’re grossly misinformed.
6. They could have taken a better look at their own selves, with all the booze and smokes and greasy late night fare
smacking yet a few more minutes off their lives. But hey who am I to judge strangers?
7. They could have hoped I would give this a little
more viral attention than I already have, because that’s really the whole point
with presumptuous bravado these days, isn’t it?
8. They could have realized hashtagging a word on
paper doesn’t work the way they think it does. But I suspect many things in
their joyless lives don’t work the way they think they should.
9. They could have just left the puppy alone,
because he was fine.
10. They
could have never touched the car, because if I see them doing it again they will have less fingers available to Tumblr and Instagram their miserable existence.