The Bloggy Blogface!

2010! Invented slacks made strictly from french toast. Purchased my 67th pair ever of Old Navy flip flops. Got clots in my lungs. Started knitting. Stopped knitting. Drove five hours to an interview I had no chance at getting. Traveled to the site of the Bowling Green Massacre in a hot air balloon. 2011! Posted my last LiveJournal entry. Found my first grey hair. Developed an odd fascination with porcupines. Stayed with my parents for a bit. Wanted to shoot myself staying with my parents for a bit. Solemnly swore that Megabus sucks. Wore socks a lot. 2012! Applied to 4,354 jobs. Never heard back from 4,351 jobs. Three jobs basically told me to fuck off. Ordered my first turkey sub with onions & mayo since college. Ate bologna for the last time. Read a poem at a poetry slam. Joined Twitter. 2013! Ate Ethiopian food for the first time. Ran with scissors. Developed a sketchy dating app. Saw my first Broadway show. Pretended I was a writer some more. Q...

   I rented a car from a place that was no longer where I thought it was. The signage was gone when we pulled up, and the windows were obstructed with brown paper. I called to make sure I wasn't getting bamboozled. You'd figure if a place was open for business and waiting for you, they would notify you that they, you know, moved. "Oh, we're in the mall now, across from the deli." Great. Your car lot is now part of a regular mall parking lot? Which cars are yours? "The ones alongside the trees" , she said. Super. Here's a few hundred bucks while I try and go find this red Hyundai, my fancy ride for the next few days. I thought I could totally bring my storage book of CD's to play during the ride. Wouldn't you know it, this 2019 car didn't have a disc player. What it did have, however, was a touch screen on the dashboard. Do they even call it a dashboard anymore? I don't even know. This screen allowed me to do quite a few things. Bl...