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Bloggy Blog #80 (end of decade review!)

2010!
Invented slacks made strictly from french toast.
Purchased my 67th pair ever of Old Navy flip flops.
Got clots in my lungs.
Started knitting.
Stopped knitting.
Drove five hours to an interview I had no chance at getting.
Traveled to the site of the Bowling Green Massacre in a hot air balloon.

2011!
Posted my last LiveJournal entry.
Found my first grey hair.
Developed an odd fascination with porcupines.
Stayed with my parents for a bit.
Wanted to shoot myself staying with my parents for a bit.
Solemnly swore that Megabus sucks.
Wore socks a lot.

2012!
Applied to 4,354 jobs.
Never heard back from 4,351 jobs.
Three jobs basically told me to fuck off.
Ordered my first turkey sub with onions & mayo since college.
Ate bologna for the last time.
Read a poem at a poetry slam.
Joined Twitter.

2013!
Ate Ethiopian food for the first time.
Ran with scissors.
Developed a sketchy dating app.
Saw my first Broadway show.
Pretended I was a writer some more.
Quit LinkedIn.
Thought about grad school again.

2014!
Ate some grapes.
MLM'd a hand cream that I pretended offered magical healing powers.
Purchased my 8th burner phone.
Won my fantasy football league.
Took a walk over 5 miles.
Started wearing more V-neck white undershirts in the summer.
Misspelled hors d'oeuvres like 4 times.

2015!
Parents send an email with 37 emojis at the end.
Potty trained a dog.
Another lit mag rejects my shitty work.
A hangnail scrapes the underside of my blanket, forcing me to rise and remedy the situation.
Fall asleep in my chair until 5:49am.
Drink coffee with no creamer or sweetener.
Purposefully lose at UNO consecutive times so I can just quit & go to bed.

2016!
Started a new journal.
Polished off a bottle of vodka.
Saw a guy barefoot in a gas station.
Plucked some eyebrows because I guess they often get long and annoying.
Had another dream where I thought I failed a critical 12th grade subject.
Enjoyed my first ever non-human dishwasher.
Crossed double-yellow lines to get around a slowpoke.

2017!
Started posting in Yahoo comment sections for the lulz.
Survived an entire bag of ghost pepper Chex Mix.
Hung a picture crooked and it stayed that way for months.
Read a book.
Enjoyed a 20-minute nose bleed.
Jogged for the last time.
Sat on a couch for six hours.

2018!
Started baking cookies more.
Fell asleep in a chair.
Fell asleep in a chair, again.
Took another 5-mile walk and hated it.
Counted how many hoodies I own (5, too many).
Almost stepped in dog poo.
Discovered someone born in 2012 has their own Wiki page (Princess Estelle of Sweden, Duchess of Östergötland)

 2019!
Drank three bottles of chardonnay and partied hard fell asleep.
Fell asleep in a chair, again.
Subscribed to New York magazine to pretend I am still living there.
Drove a rental way too far and back.
Almost fell in the shower. 
Was asked by liquor store clerk if I was there last week (I was). 
Took a 2 & 1/2 hour nap, possibly a world record for me. 
Happy New Year! 

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