The last time I went bowling, I was a moody jerk. This is according to various sources whom I bowled with that evening. I don't disagree with them. Every time I have bowled as an adult, I seem to get noticeably frustrated with myself. Not so much because I suck (I do, like many of us), but because I used to be good. Good, damnit! I won trophies as a kid. TROPHIES. I had it man, I really did.
But, then I stopped bowling. Aged out of the youth league and just quit bowling altogether.
Fast forward a couple decades later, my bowling game is both depressing and predictable. I will always start out strong, then get progressively worse each game. First game I'll get a few strikes and finish maybe with a 150. Next game less strikes and maybe a score of 96. Final game I'll get zero strikes, maybe one spare and finish with a 72. And no, this isn't because the pitchers of beer we're sharing start kicking in. There's something deeper going on here. Maybe.
I recently went to an axe throwing place with a friend. They had experienced such an adventure before, but this was my first time. I was completely unsure what to expect, outside of throwing axes of course. The place was fairly busy. There were children! Children throwing axes! We checked in, went over to the drink counter and placed an order. No alcohol here, which is probably a good idea.
There were three "stations" of two targets on the wall. We got the last station and were soon met by one of the owners. He's maybe around my age, shorter, impressive long black beard. He offers up a spiel I'm sure he has to recite over twenty times a day to soon-to-be weapon wielding guests. One of the rules was no trick shots, and he shows half an example of one trying to go between the legs. WHO THE HELL TRIED THAT BEFORE? Humans are idiots.
The standard throwing pose it a two-handed grip thrown from over your head, to the wooden target area against the wall. And hoo boy, let me tell you that wall has seen better days. And the drop ceiling. People are throwing these axes all over the damn place, hitting just whatever the hell they can, if they can even hit the target. Bearded dude says it's normal for most axe throwing places to look like that, that it takes some time to perfect your throws. Right on, brother. It's your renter's insurance.
So we get to throwing axes. Both of our first tries went kerplunk, right onto the ground. Same for our second throws. By the third one I finally got the axe to stick and stay into the wall. Not in the target area, but progress! A few more kerplunks and off target hits I finally make it inside the ring. Not a bullseye, of course, but I'll take it. I was getting the hang of it!
Or at least I thought I was.
After a few successful hits, I started to lose it. I don't know what exactly happened, but I started getting the same sort of yips I do as bowling frames progress. I hit the side of the wall. I hit the floor. One throw hit the drop ceiling. For every successful throw I would miss my next seven or eight. I tried axes of different weights, still no luck. Bearded fellow offered both of us coaching advice, and even he couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. He did note my release points were different almost every single time, but even with some correction I was still stinking up the joint. Similar to bowling, I started out relatively strong, only to get progressively worse and worse for no reason.
I tried to understand what was happening here. Either I was just losing my concentration or my wrists were seemingly giving out on me. Whatever the case, I couldn't help but draw some parallel to my bowling ineptitude. And in the case of axe throwing, I didn't morph into that moody jerk. At the end of the day, I realized it was all just for fun. Plus no axe sliced into body parts, so everyone wins.