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Bloggy Blog #81

   
I rang in the new year watching the ball drop two minutes late thanks to my sketchy live stream. I was on my fourth glass of champagne, nursing it alone as everyone had already retired for the night. In the next hour, I watched a bunch of musical acts from people and bands I mostly never heard of before.

January 2020 sucked for many of us. Famous people died! Government checks and balances now mean nothing! A Duke & Duchess left the Royal Family! People actually watched the Pro Bowl! Australia fucking caught on FIRE. My sister and I both "celebrated" another journey around the sun by...sending Facebook messages back and forth on our respective days. And I think last month I caught a little head cold. Or maybe that was December? Anyway, we're now in February and everything's gonna get better. Right?

Oh, well there's that virus named after a beer thing. That sucks! But I do feel like we've been through this before. And now we're just allowing folks from the ground zero areas to just randomly fly and sail around the world? Well that's just great. Really effective. Listen, if aliens do indeed exist, they'd see what ridiculous asshattery humans do on a daily basis and turn right around to head back to their fancy galaxy.

February's also Black History Month! Don't worry, Barnes & Noble have already managed to crap on that. Which famous person (or dumb white college kids) will we find out once wore blackface? How many "when is white history month" tweets have morons banged out already? If you want to feel sad about humanity, go read Yahoo's comment section anytime they post a story about the Obamas - especially Michelle. It's so great America's always been like this.


At least Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early spring. I find it amazing we've been documenting the actions of a rodent since 1887. Baseball was barely forty years in existence when we lifted our first portly Phil into the sky and declared it's going to snow forever. But now I'm reading how PETA's trying to barge their way in to the whole Groundhog Day thing, because of course they are. Punxsutawney Phil probably lives and gets cared for more comfortably than some PETA employees.

Back home, spring came whenever the hell it fucking wanted to. I'll always love telling the story how for a couple of college "spring" breaks, I was stuck brushing copious amounts of snow off my car before I could get off campus and head home. Buffalo was one of those many northern cities where even if it were a blizzard, you still had to go to work, or in my case leave my dorm room. I miss my little silver Dodge Neon. We had a nice run together, maneuvering snowstorms and cross-country road trips.

As much as I would love it to, 2020 isn't going to magically gift me a new car. It's probably not going to gift me anything, but I think it should. I think this new year and decade should gift me some new hope that this country will some day right the ship, whatever that may entail. Remember the little threats of a second civil war? Those were cute. You just gonna go out shooting anyone? You know we already do that now, right? Almost daily. We really are the worst.

 New decade, new me! Right, sure.

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