The Bloggy Blogface!

The first time I visited, I had to park across the street in the lot of an abandoned gas station. The lot itself went up a slight hill, and the station's sign would occasionally spin some slow turns whenever the town spirits wanted to have some fun.  She lived in a questionably constructed building on the second floor of this sleepy Revolutionary War town, adjacent to a craft store that was hardly ever open. In the basement sat a four-lane bowling alley and a small bar. It was by appointment only, which really meant the building's landlord had to be there to serve drinks and keep an eye on the action. I didn't get a chance to bowl down there, but seeing the construction of the building, this was probably a good thing. When she moved out of her place, part of the process involved placing a three-foot wide plank over the bowling alley basement stairs, in order to move big furniture out. Needless to say she left the heavy lifting to the moving experts.  The new plac...

   We're now in day two-hundred something and counting of self-quarantine. I've been okay, knock on wood. Trying to avoid the larger petri dishes like the Walmarts and Targets and what not. Why would you even risk it at this point? Order your stuff online, if you can. I haven't been to either place in over a month now, but the last couple times I did show up, many grocery aisles were disheveled and partially bare. I've been sticking to my closer (and smaller) grocery and dollar stores, neither of which have featured paper products on the shelves for weeks. Grocery shopping in the time of the 'Rona has been ridiculous here, and everywhere else I'm sure. This is thanks in part to your hoarders and panic shoppers, who managed to purchase all packages of toilet paper every single day before stores finally started putting a limit on how many you could get. Nothing like sanitary essentials being treated like they're a Black Friday special, wheeled onto the sale...

Well shit, Martha. I didn't expect this COVID-19 outbreak to be as severe as I thought it would be. But what the hell do I know, I'm not some infectious disease specialist. Here I am already washing my damn hands like sixteen times a day and now I'm being told it's not enough? Well, nobody's saying that per se, but they might as well be. And I'll tell you what, color me surprised that our television celebrity President isn't showing that true leadership we've come to expect from him. Just a short time ago I received a notice from our former President about some of the realities concerning this pandemic that were way better than our esteemed leader blurted out the other night. The nerve of that guy, butting his head in with facts and data. You lost, get over it! Can we shoot the virus away? I think we can shoot it away. It's an airborne virus, is it not? Covfefe-19 doesn't stand a chance against my trusty vintage war musket. I will dip my bull...

    I rang in the new year watching the ball drop two minutes late thanks to my sketchy live stream. I was on my fourth glass of champagne, nursing it alone as everyone had already retired for the night. In the next hour, I watched a bunch of musical acts from people and bands I mostly never heard of before. January 2020 sucked for many of us. Famous people died! Government checks and balances now mean nothing! A Duke & Duchess left the Royal Family! People actually watched the Pro Bowl! Australia fucking caught on FIRE. My sister and I both "celebrated" another journey around the sun by...sending Facebook messages back and forth on our respective days. And I think last month I caught a little head cold. Or maybe that was December? Anyway, we're now in February and everything's gonna get better. Right? Oh, well there's that virus named after a beer thing. That sucks! But I do feel like we've been through this before.  And now we're just allowing...

2010! Invented slacks made strictly from french toast. Purchased my 67th pair ever of Old Navy flip flops. Got clots in my lungs. Started knitting. Stopped knitting. Drove five hours to an interview I had no chance at getting. Traveled to the site of the Bowling Green Massacre in a hot air balloon. 2011! Posted my last LiveJournal entry. Found my first grey hair. Developed an odd fascination with porcupines. Stayed with my parents for a bit. Wanted to shoot myself staying with my parents for a bit. Solemnly swore that Megabus sucks. Wore socks a lot. 2012! Applied to 4,354 jobs. Never heard back from 4,351 jobs. Three jobs basically told me to fuck off. Ordered my first turkey sub with onions & mayo since college. Ate bologna for the last time. Read a poem at a poetry slam. Joined Twitter. 2013! Ate Ethiopian food for the first time. Ran with scissors. Developed a sketchy dating app. Saw my first Broadway show. Pretended I was a writer some more. Q...

   I rented a car from a place that was no longer where I thought it was. The signage was gone when we pulled up, and the windows were obstructed with brown paper. I called to make sure I wasn't getting bamboozled. You'd figure if a place was open for business and waiting for you, they would notify you that they, you know, moved. "Oh, we're in the mall now, across from the deli." Great. Your car lot is now part of a regular mall parking lot? Which cars are yours? "The ones alongside the trees" , she said. Super. Here's a few hundred bucks while I try and go find this red Hyundai, my fancy ride for the next few days. I thought I could totally bring my storage book of CD's to play during the ride. Wouldn't you know it, this 2019 car didn't have a disc player. What it did have, however, was a touch screen on the dashboard. Do they even call it a dashboard anymore? I don't even know. This screen allowed me to do quite a few things. Bl...

So, March Madness is churning through like that double Whopper with bacon you totally thought your insides could handle. Just how old do you think I am , your colon might ask, if it could speak. Thirty-two teams left. Two Sweet Sixteens, one for the ladies and one of the men. Who will prevail? Who the hell knows, our brackets are all wrong! Except for one guy. There's always that one guy. Screw him. My alma mater participated in both tournaments this year, both losing in the second round. Both programs had great seasons - the men in particular logged the most wins in program history. Alas, it was never meant to be. And almost predictably, just a few days after the team lost, the men's coach bolted to a school in a more prominent conference. That's the way of the world with so-called "mid-major" conferences - coaches never see those programs as destination gigs. And in a conference where one of the best players of all time is Wally Szcerbiak, there's no n...